Tuesday, November 22, 2011

A Very Profane Christmas



We love fluffy, sweet little Christmas tunes here at Christmas A Go Go!, but when we had our powdersugarfix, we do enjoy a healthy cup of profanity. Here's a mix of 25 old and fairly recent foulmouthed seasonal songs. Remember to wash up afterwards. Download from HERE. A slightly adapted version of this mix is also on Spotify

1. Durwood Douche - The Christmas Gift (Just Another Christmas Blowjob). Released at the end the 90s as part of a fake-40s bigband album, this is probably one of the sexiest x-mas songs ever.

2. Marina V - Christmas is gonna suck without you. Gorgeous flame-haired singer-songwriter keeps it rather decent. Still, I wonder what's going to happen when the 'you' in the song comes home.

3. Denis Leary - Merry Fucking Christmas. American stand-up comedian/actor sings a fingerpoppin' jolly song with lots and lots of profanity.

4. Eazy E - Merry Muthafuckin' Christmas. Former NWA-rapper Eazy-E and his merry band of foulmouthed rappers tell the story of Muthafuckin Santa during Christmas in Compton.
Whip it good!

5. Legendary Tiger Man - Fuck Christmas, I got the blues. Portuguese bluesman Paulo Furtado is a one man trashy blues machine, who has mixed feelings about the most wonderful time of the year.

6. Deer Tick - Holy Shit, It's Christmas. Part of a Christmas-single by this American singer-songwriter who let's out his inner Tom Waits.

7. André Williams - Poor Mr Santa. The things legendary R&B-singer André Williams does to poor Santa, makes you just wanna *#@&!!!

8. Erin McKeown - Santa is asshole. She sounds so sweet. She swears so hard.

9. Bill Cosby - Merry Christmas Mama. No profane language in this song by famous black comedian Cosby, but this mama-and-papa-game isn't meant for children's ears.

10. Les Issambres - Christmas sucks anyway, Everything is shit. The little French town of Les Issambres was the inspiration for the name of this Swedish folkband. I guess they spent a really shitty December down in France.

11. Candye Kane & Country Dick Montana - Let's put the X back in X-mas. Country Dick wants well-endowed countrysinger Candy Kane to put on her red lace nighty and green stockings. The video's ready, let's celebrate Christmas in the bedroom.

12.MC Chris - XXXing Up My Christmas. A comedy routine set to a headbanging beat. Yo-ho-ho!

13. Nerf Herder - I've got a boner for Christmas. 'This lump ain't made of coal'. Just so you know. American punkrockband Nerf Herder were named after a curse made up by Princess Leia in Star Wars. Really.

14. Insane Clown Posse - Santa's a Fat Bitch. Hey, what did you expect from a couple of guys dressed up as, well, insane clowns?

15. Kay Martin & her Body Guards - Santa's Doing the Horizontal Twist. Sexy Kay ends up with a little man after a Christmasparty, who wants to do a new dance craze. She doesn't regret it.

16.Red Aunts - Little Drummer Bitch. All-female punkband from Los Angeles punking up the ole tale about a little drummer. Hard to tell what they're yelling about.

17. The Legionnaires - Suck My Balls, It's Christmas. This American countryband don't want nothing in their stockings, no kiss under the mistletoe, they'd rather spend the holidays some other way.

18. Cutting Pink With Knives - Merry Fucking Christmas, You Spineless Fuck. Just another screamo-christmas, from the bottom of their spinal chords.

19. FEAR - Fuck Christmas. Covered many, many times, but this original by LA-punkgodfathers FEAR still rocks Santa off his socks.

20. The Yobs - C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S. Taken from 1980's infamous Christmas Album by Britpunk band The Yobs (=The Boys), that wears the crown of the most foulmouthed seasonal album ever recorded. Bow down!

21. The Irreconcilables - Santa is foolin' around. 'That ain't milk and cookies in his beard'. Christmas is also the perfect time to mock your ex, as the very funny Irreconcilables do on the album Merry Ex-mas.

22. Arranged Marriage - Santa Just Crashed Into My House And He's Drunk As Fuck. Glad they could make a gentle song out of this gruesome accident.

23. Pansy Division - Homo Christmas. May your days be merry and gay! Brilliant track by legendary queer punkrockers: 'Don't be miserable like Morrissey, let me do you underneath the Christmas tree'.

24. Eric Idle - Fuck Christmas! Profanity was never so good to sing along to, with the Monty Python-member Eric Idle.

25. Mr Garrison - Merry Fucking Christmas. South Park-teacher Mr Garrison has an interesting way to spend his holidays.

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